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Severance Pay The hideous appendage must be removed. At all costs. It must be removed. Upon your arrival at the Webmonkey quad, you find a knife in the gross little refrigerator and position it above your arm. Nate walks by and says, "Dude, if this was Soul Blade, we could use a much badder weapon on that thing." You immediately lower your knife and slap Nate in the head with your mousehand. In the split-second you have access to his files, you notice that the //nate/short_term_memory/ folder reacts sluggishly and is missing information, and you wonder what could be affecting its performance. You raise the blade again and are ready to swing when Wendy appears. She gently touches your arm and smiles. "It's going to be fine," she says. Instantly, and without warning, your mousehand has accessed Wendy's //thoughts/opinions_of_people/ directory. Though you know it's wrong, you scan the files. The first one reads, Kristin: A nice person. The next, Meghan: A nice person. The next, Luke: a nice person. After reading dozens of files that say the same thing, you are overcome with a feeling of tranquility. Her even-tempered nature and positive outlook make you believe in the goodness and decency of humankind. You decide you can learn to live with your hand and its awful potential. But as you read dozens, then hundreds of these files - all similarly infused with good will - you begin to get annoyed. You stomp on her foot, thinking she could use a little more hate. You raise your head and see Nadav holding a buzzing chainsaw. He beams and says, "I love tools." Before you can react, JoAnne and Nate pin your arm to the desk. Just before your wrist is sliced through, JoAnne screams, "You better cut it off at the shoulder just to make sure." Kicking and howling, you manage to free yourself. You run for your life out of the room and down the stairs. As you reach the street, two vehicles pull up to meet you. The first is a white limousine. A window rolls down and you hear a voice, soothing and oddly familiar, say, "You better get in." The second is a taxicab. In his outstretched hand, the cabbie has a business-class ticket to Hong Kong and an all-access pass to the Coding Tournament. Do you: Or |