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An Introduction and a Statement of Purpose As the Webmonkeys stagger toward the next millennium, we find ourselves looking backward, reminiscing through laughter and tears, pondering the past in a never-ending quest to define the future. During a marathon eight-hour meeting that began at Daddy's Liquor Barn and then meandered over to Taco Bell and Kmart before ending up at the Exxon station, we discussed what the true predecessor of the Web was. By pinpointing the root of this nonlinear, interactive construction, we could perhaps rediscover its magic and move forward in exciting new directions. Early the next morning, we had an epiphany. As the sun poked its shining face through the shattered window of the abandoned tenement building we'd somehow found ourselves in, it was Kristin who said: "Dudes, I think I totally rode the lightning last night." We pretty much ignored that, but then Aaron said something about how his life was just a big choose-your-own-adventure story, except every choice he made seemed to result in his being sprawled out in an abandoned tenement building. That's it! we all cried. The choose-your-own-adventure book was the progenitor of the Web! It was warping kids' minds with interactivity and interlinking years ago! Well, as you can imagine, we were all very excited and ideas starting bursting out of our heads. Our first task, we all agreed, was to pay tribute to our patron saint by creating our own choose-your-own-adventure story. Half an hour later, we'd completed the entire project, and the results appear here exactly as they did on Taylor's laptop (which luckily survived Evany's mistaking it for a grilled-cheese-sandwich-maker) that fateful morning. The concept is simple: You are the main character of the story. You decide how the story progresses. It's just like real life; if you end up getting a leg gnawed off by a drug-fueled wildebeest or getting married to the ghost of Jessica Tandy in a mass cult ceremony (these are just examples, by the way - neither of these events occur in this particular story, unfortunately), it is entirely your fault. Those titular notes of warning 1. In order to completely immerse yourself in this virtual reality, please do not cheat. Once you have made your decision, follow the link to the next page and face the consequences. Nobody likes a squirrelly cheater-head. This does not mean that you can't read the story over and over, meeting new friends and having strange new adventures each time. It's never the same story twice (unless you make the same choices or read it through more than two times)! 2. As you move from scene to scene, you may notice some inconsistencies between the characters, locations, dialogue, dialect, thematic explorations, mood, tense, and spelling. Please do not be alarmed, as this is yet another way that Webmonkey is laughing in the face of convention, pushing the envelope to its breaking point - and beyond. 3. There are many characters in this story, each with their own baffling idiosyncrasies. For a brief introduction to each of them, please take a look at the cast list. 4. Certain words and phrases will be clickable. Selecting them will bring up a supplementary window and provide you with additional explanations, annotations, cross-references, or links to other sites. Here's an example. There will be no explanations or annotations for these supplementary windows. If your browser doesn't support JavaScript then these things probably won't work. Too bad for you! 5. If you don't have the Macromedia Flash plug-in you will be very sad when (if) you reach the conclusion of this adventure. 6. If you become dizzy or disoriented, please refer to the navigation bar at the bottom of your screen. By clicking on the Webmonkey head, you will returned to Webmonkey proper which will, for once, act as a haven from madness. We hope you enjoy our story. Now, begin your journey into the dark underbelly of society as you attempt to discover ... |