Invalid Domain

In Which New Plot Threads are Introduced
and Subsequently Forgotten

Tap ... tap ... tap ...

You awake in a frenzy of confusion and fear. The walls are dark and you can't stop shivering.

Tap ... tap ... tap ...

The noise grows louder and louder. You can't tell if it's coming from outside or if it's all in your head.

Tap ... tap ... tap ...

The sweat rolls down your face and you struggle to free yourself from the gurney.

"Ah, ah, ah! I wouldn't do that if you value your life." You look up onto a sea of shiny leather and zippers. Dr. Neck smiles, her stiletto heels clicking against the rough cement floor. "Here's the deal," she says. "You can either die or help me take over the television waves. I have ingeniously lured the Monkeys away from their quad so that we can use their equipment to set everything up. And you, my friend, are going to tap into their brains and give me the knowledge I need to execute my delicious plan. I have them trapped in the maze right now."

You ask why she is doing all of this just to be on TV.

"It's not to be on TV, you moron! I want to exterminate reruns of that show. That show .... Smmm ... Smmmmall ..." She cringes, then spits it out: "Small Wonder!"

"What's so wrong with that show?" you ask. "It's both funny and heartwarming."

"You don't know what it's like to be forced to watch that show day after day after day. Your mama always saying, 'Why can't you be like that robot? Why can't you dress like her? Look how pretty and polite she is! Why can't you be like that?' Well mama, I'll show you! I'll show you who's polite and pretty! Huh, mama? You hear me?"

You begin to wonder if death might in fact be the best choice.

"So, I'm going to leave you to think my proposition over a bit."

You begin to panic. You're not sure what to do. Quickly, you decide to try and squirm out of the gurney again. Luckily you can do that thing where you dislocate your own shoulder. You slip your mousehand through the straps and then free your other arm and legs. This was easy ... too easy.

You quickly run out into the murky hall and crawl into a corner. You want to make sure the coast is clear before making a dash for the door. As you're about to turn the corner and make a run for it, you see two really tall figures. One is draped in orange but you can't quite make out the other. Just as you prepare to let out a cry more piercing than the one associated with falling wrong on a bicycle seat, the orange figure says, "Shh!"

"Yeah, shut your piehole!" This isn't one of Dr. Neck's goons, after all. It's those two guys from that one site ... HotSite ... HotLights? Oh yeah, it's Aaron and Taylor from Webmonkey!

Irritated, Aaron says, "If she catches us, there's no telling what kind of painful torture she might inflict."

"And you're saying that's a bad thing?" Taylor asks.

Relieved to find some people less crazy (?) than Dr. Neck, you decide to head off with them. As you walk through the winding corridors, you run into more and more members of the Webmonkey team who also got suspicious invites: Jay, Meghan, Shvatz, Josh - the whole gang. Even Luke eventually stumbles into view.

You hold your mousehand protectively when you stumble upon Nadav, Nate, and JoAnne.

"Uh, sorry about the whole trying-to-cut-your-hand-off-with-a-chainsaw thing," Nadav says sheepishly. "I get a power tool in my hands, and I just can't help myself. You know, I'm taking this woodworking class ..."

"We know!" everyone cries.

The whole group then parades farther into the dank labyrinth. After a long while, Shvatz stops and scratches his head. "Something's not right, guys. I don't think we're getting anywhere. We're right back where we started." He's right - you've been walking around in circles for hours. Dr. Neck's gloomy abode is more complicated than you thought, and there are mazes within mazes within mazes. You collapse with frustration and fatigue.

"Hey!" Josh says, pointing to your mousehand. "Can't you do something with that thing? Like zap or click something? All the superfreaks on TV could do something like that ... stretch or turn into something else." Everyone looks at you and you begin to sweat.

"Hey, I know how we can get out of here!" Taylor cries with the excitement of a child - a really, really, really tall child.

No one moves, and it seems as if everyone is holding their breath.

"We could walk out of that door marked Exit," he says.

A shout of joy rings out from the Monkeys. Finally, you're going to leave this dump and these frightfully insane people. But there is yet another obstacle in your way. As you step through the doorway and into the cool night air, you discover you're in a vast wasteland - miles from anywhere. It's reminiscent of Mountain View. How will you get out of here?

Everyone sits back down, resigned. Nate and Jay begin sobbing quietly to themselves. Shvatz tries to console everyone by sharing his stash of snacktime food.

"Let's see, who wants the two-month-old mint? What about the moldy apple? The stale crackers are going fast, folks."

"Hmm, let's see," Nadav mutters. "What would MacGyver do? Wait! I have an idea. We'll need some of these wires, a few nails, some old newspapers, my Palm Pilot, Meghan's lipstick, and those blankets that happen to be stacked over there."

Fifteen minutes later, Nadav has built a fully operational replica of the Mystery Machine. The gang cheers and piles in, ready for adventure.

But you're not so sure. The Monkeys have been nothing but trouble, and perhaps it's time to venture out on your own.

Do you: