Invalid Domain

Where's Enos When You Need Him?

You hide behind the large stack of wax fruit and bowling balls and survey the scene. That mastermind of evil, Little Roscoe Tompkins, is nowhere in sight. In the corner of the dark, marble-floored room sit Taylor and Nate, their heads strapped to some mysterious evil contraption that vaguely resembles a cross between a water cooler and a jet engine - and maybe a burrowing rodent of some kind, like a mole or something. The work of Roscoe, no doubt. Your mission is clear: You must find Roscoe Tompkins, recover the chip, and somehow save your fellow Webmonkeys in the process.

You crawl swiftly through the shadows over to Taylor and Nate. "Taylor," you whisper, "how do I unhook this evil contraption from your head?" Taylor is uncharacteristically silent, and you realize that both he and Nate have duct tape over their mouths and blank looks in their eyes. This must be one of Roscoe Tompkins' famous mind-warp machines, you think.

You grasp Taylor's hand and double-squeeze in order to gain insight into Roscoe's whereabouts. Hmm, Taylor is thinking. I wonder if DKNY will have a car coat in construction-worker orange in the fall line? You curse in frustration. You plunge deeper into his files, going where most fear to tread, desperate for information. You find a file that is labeled Urgent - this must be the information you need. The Dukes of Hazzard will be on TNN soon! the file announces.

You decide to see if Nate is more help then Taylor. "Nate," you whisper. "You must help me. The chip is priceless. Did you see where Roscoe Tompkins put it?" After double-squeezing his hand, you read Nate's thoughts: They have a damn good price on Camo down at Safeway. I think I'll get a couple tonight and rent some snowboard movies. Hella cool. You sigh in defeat as you ponder what to do next.

Suddenly, you feel something sharp poke into your back and a deep, nasally voice say, "Nothing can help you now." You slowly glance over your shoulder to see Gary, Tompkins' henchman, holding a shotgun against your shoulder blades. You spy a big purple stick laying on a table just out of reach. Your martial arts training is quickly coming back to you. A moment of clarity seems to appear in Nate's eyes, and he carefully moves his hand to push the stick closer to you. You wonder if you should try your super-crazy, back-flip, mousehand chop on Gary.

Gary again shoves the end of the shotgun into your back. "Looks like a good day to die, Monkey! Ahaha haha!" he cackles.

Do you: